To blog or not to blog...

To blog or not to blog... I keep a journal. But it's my most intimate thoughts and observations. Is that something I want to share with the world?? So blogging is public, journaling is private. ;-) Thats how I'm going at this. When I noticed my last blog was so long ago, I had to read back through them. And then I remembered why I blogged in the first place. I love looking back and seeing where God has brought us. So, I'm going to do a quick recap of the past 2 to 3 years and then try to keep up with this more habitually. After moving into the rental house in TN, where we were to be for a year, we sold our house and bought a new one within six months. For some reason, I had in my head that this was it for us. I had reached genuine contentment and I was good-to-go!! Needless to say, things have changed quite a bit since then. We stayed in our TN home for one year and Robb accepted a new job in Beaufort, SC. (yes, it's beautiful here and yes, it's not here!) While in TN, we decided to "try" homeschooling. Now, we are here, a year into our homeschooling journey and I can't imagine life any other way. We were blessed with a renter on our TN home immediately (literally. Not even a week went in between us leaving and renters moving in.) When God brings you to it, and you follow, he will bring you through it. We have been here in Beaufort for a year this month. We are renting our second rental property since being here, which means we have moved 5 times in 3 years. I feel like a military family. Oddly enough, most all of our friends here are military families and that brings a whole new level to our friendships. Because I know without doubt, they will leave. But to miss out on these friendships due to protecting ourselves would be a huge mistake on our part. These friendships are ones that will be cherished for many years. Anyway, back to homeschooling. We are pretty much in the homeschooling capital, being here in SC. That has been an amazing blessing for our family. Especially considering I didn't really want to move here in the first place. Heehee. The Father knows best for His children. Robb applied for this job here in SC 3 years ago and didn't get it. At the time, I cried and was devastated because I wanted to be here so bad. It was such a beautiful place, a small town, and I knew I wanted to raise our children here. I had a hard time accepting that it just was NOT Gods will (at that time). Now that we are here we all love it. I look forward to and embrace where God will lead our family. We are so happy with our church, with our homeschool co-op, and with our activities here for our girls, now almost 5 and almost 7. I'm really hopeful that a house is in store here for us so that I can again feel settled in our own home. ;-)

Beat the family up...

Well, yesterday, I started a new Bible study at a new church. First, let me say that all of this is very much out of my comfort zone, but it's amazing what you can do for your children. I want them to be as involved in church as possible, so I throw myself in the mix as well.

After we got our handbooks and did the normal "first day intros" we started the video. Week 1 was simply an introduction about how the author of this study wanted us to "go at" this bible study. The ENTIRE first night intro was a challenge to 'beat the family up' and start your day in God's word. She then went on to give us scripture throughout the Bible as to WHY devotions, prayer, and study time should be done FIRST thing in the morning, even if that meant that you were to set an alarm and beat your family up to get it done!! Well, for any of you that really KNOW me, this is an issue. I wanted to get up and leave the class. I thought, "this woman is crazy and this study is NOT for me!" I NEED every last second of sleep that I can get. So, as I started to tune her out, I felt convicted and realized that God had put me in this study to hear this message. I often complain about not having the time to do my study, have time to myself, etc.

This past January, I started a Bible study on facebook with a group of friends to read the Bible in a year. I stuck with this much longer than I ever thought that I would. After doing my readings daily, I felt an extra closeness, an addition to my personal relationship with Christ. We all know that we "should" read and study daily, but that doesn't mean that we actually do. We often wonder what God's direction is in our lives or why we aren't getting the things that we pray for or how we can become closer with God, but the truth is, we can't if we aren't seeking His word. That is His direction in our lives. That's our map, instruction manual to being a wife, mother, Christian, friend, all of those things that we daily want God's wisdom in. I tell you this only because in April or May stopped doing my daily readings and almost instantly I caught myself asking God what had happened to our personal relationship. I felt myself pulling away, not wanting to and wanting to be close again with God, but not knowing how. I was praying daily and asking God why I couldn't hear him, why I didn't just feel the closeness that I had just months before.

When I started in this study yesterday, it hit me like a ton of bricks!! The reason that I wasn't hearing God anymore was because I wasn't looking the one place that God speaks to us- His Word!! Many times since April when I stopped my regular readings, I've wanted to start back because I could FEEL a definite difference in my heart, thoughts, words, and actions. But at the end of every day (that's when I kept telling myself I would do my readings again) I was SO tired from everyday life that once I got the girls to bed, I didn't want to commit to anything that required dedication or obedience or discipline.

So, anyway, I had to PRAY like crazy last night for God to allow me to still feel the passion that I was feeling about beating my family up this morning so that I could get up and have that time with God. I am wide awake this morning, feeling energized and ready to face this day!! I had time to not only study but to pray for my precious girls, my amazing husband, our families and other things and to rejoice and thank God for ALL HIS blessings in my life. Thank you God for sending me to be a part of this study and to have so many questions answered in only one night that I had been asking for the past couple of months!!

*For those of you who may be reading this and wondering where in the Bible it addresses morning devotions and prayer time with God, here ya go:

2 Timothy 3:16-17---All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (NIV)

Psalm 5:3---In the morning, O lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

Mark 1:35---Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

This is not to say that the morning is the only time to worship and spend time with God. It's just a challenge to all of us that are too busy throughout the day to spend time alone with God. We have alot of time, it's just whether or not we find it and use it!! Hope everyone has a blessed week!!

So...where to begin....

We've been in KnoxVegas for 4 months now. After barely tolerating apartment life (whole different blog) we have just moved into a cute rental house for the next year. It's the PERFECT rental property. Downstairs has living room, dining room, laundry, kitchen and half bath. Upstairs has 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms and LOTS of closet space!! We have a nice, big deck overlooking two ponds, walking trails and a beautiful view of the mountains. But, enough about that.

My kids have always been very routine, structured children with wonderful sleep habits (always been able to just put them to bed, close the door and they would sleep 12 hours til the next morning-kind of sleep habits.) BUT, after moving into our apartment, AKA, dump-hole, Annie Grace's little mouth decided to fill up with teeth. So...as she's cutting every tooth that she will ever have all at once, basically, she started waking up at all hours of the night with her mouth hurting, apparently. Well, due to the fact that our neighbor down below us (single mother of 5) complained every time we so much as sneezed, we had to start getting AG up out of bed and putting her in bed with us when she would wake up screaming with her teeth issues.

Now, 3 months later, she seems to be quite used to the "sleeping in mom and dad's bed" thing and I'm pretty sure that I'm reaching insanity pretty quickly from it!!! So the "sleep training" (love that they make it sound so simple) is about to begin at the Wells' house (not really our house but you get the idea). Thinking we will go with the Ferber method because that seemed to work so well with both of our girls when they were babies, but I'm a bit nervous because now she is the MOST strong-willed child ever and I'm thinking this is gonna be a battle. I think we'll start tonight while I'm out getting my hair done and let Robb go with it!! He seems to be much better at tuning her out than I do. My heart pretty much feels as if it will burst every time she screams, "MOMMY!!!"

Until next time, wish us luck on sleeping children!!!

Keep going and going...

It's late Monday night and I need to be sleeping!! I have so many thoughts rushing through my head. Robb and I spent the weekend in KnoxVegas checking everything out. We signed our lease to our apartment (which is definately going to be an adjustment) and then we just rode around and got to know the area. We went to his new office, the mall, Wal-Mart, Target, etc...It was fun to see ALL the things that were right at our fingertips to grab hold of.

However, I feel like blogging will be the best way for me to get all this "stuff" off of my mind instead of just talking about it. I feel like I shouldn't be talking to anyone about anything going on with us right now, in fear of hurting someones feelings or offending someone. So, here's the skinny...Robb and I are PURE GIDDY right now. We are so pumped about the move, but feel like I should feel guilty about being so excited. Why is that? When Robb is talking about, sshhh, Knoxville, I feel like I should jump in and stop him so that people don't think we are excited. What in the world? So weird to feel that way. I feel as if we are being disloyal (is that a word?) by talking about this without tears.

Anyway, I am excited about Thursday and getting settled and getting started in Tennessee, but I think I could use another week to get packed!! Not happening, but I could use it. See, it's a little complicated trying to pack boxes while the little ones are going behind me and unpacking or screaming, "hold you" the entire time I'm trying to do anything. I'm pretty much at the point now of just dumping stuff into garbage bags and hoping that it doesn't break and dealing with it later.

I currently have lists...1) on my new crackberry (I may not know how to do anything on that phone, but I can make a list), 2)on my fridge, 3) in my pocket calendar, 4)on pieces of paper in my pocketbook, and 5) in my head. Soon, I will need to make a list to keep up with where all of my lists are. WOW, moving with 2 kids is for the birds...Not for people who need SLEEP!!

Oh well, this time next week, we will be there, hopefully be unpacked, and hopefully enjoying Knoxville. I'm going to think positively and think that we are going to be adjusting well and having a blast!!

Good night all!

Getting ready for "THE MOVE"

So, where do I start? Robb and I are getting ready for "the move." He has just accepted a job in Knoxville, Tn, approximately 6 and 1/2 hours from our now, HOME. This time is filled with emotion for me. I never had any idea that I could feel all of these things at once. The immediate emotion is excitement.
Excitement
*for the career opportunity for Robb.
*for the educational opportunity for the girls.
*for the things that a larger place has to offer as far as things for us to do.
*for being closer to my family.
*for a new start for the 4 of us.
*for following God's plan.
The second emotion that is the exact opposite, but that is right there neck and neck with the first would be sadness.
Sadness
*for leaving our family here in Eastern NC.
*for leaving our church family.
*for leaving the only home that Robb and I have ever shared.
*for leaving the home that we brought our precious girls home to.
*for leaving the many friends that we have made here.
*for leaving such a wonderful preschool that Ally has loved so much.
Another emotion that is surfacing is fear.
Fear
*of the unknown
*of being "by ourselves and knowing no one."
*of when our house will sell.
*of leaving our comfort zone.
But, the thing that is so weird is that I feel all of these things at the same time!! I'm so excited about what God has in store for us, but I'm scared because I don't know what that plan is. Does that make sense? I know it seems so strange to be able to say that I feel comfort knowing that we are following God's will, but that I'm scared that I'm not the one in control...

As we've been working on our house trying to get it ready to be sold and trying to pack up our things, it's the small, unthinkable, unpredictable things that have gotten to me. For example, when we had our last church service, I was OK for the most part, because I was expecting it. And when I talked to Ally's teachers at school about the move, I was OK because I was expecting it. BUT, when we were painting and I came across crayon mark on the wall from Ally when she was a baby, I lost it. And when I came across the greasy handprint on the wall from the time Ally got into my Carmex with her entire palm and stuck it to the wall, I lost it. And when I pushed Annie Grace on her little swing in the back yard, I lost it. It's the things that I didn't have myself prepared to deal with that got me for sure!!

Anyway, I say all of these things as a preface to this: Over a year ago, Robb and I made a commitment to God, our girls and to each other that every night, we would pray together (aloud) for God to lead us in His direction. We knew that something just wasn't right. We could both feel that God had other plans for us and we just didn't know what they were or when they were. After much prayer and commitment to this family and to God our Father, He is leading this path for us. I know that it may hurt to see us so excited about this new adventure to the ones that we are "leaving" behind, but this excitement isn't selfish at all. It's because we know that God is directing this path for us to follow. I keep telling Robb that I feel like this journey is the landing strip at the airport and we are the airplane and that as we keep going down the runway, God continues to light the path to show us which direction to take. How can one not be excited about that?! Knowing that God is lighting the path for you to follow. Yes, there are going to be some hard times ahead and definately some tears along the way, but we are so excited because we know that this move is a "God-thang" for our family!! :-)

My girls

On August 5, 2006, my first little girl was born. She was the most precious person I had ever laid eyes on. I knew at that point, my life had changed forever, for the good. Two years later, on August 21, 2008, my second little girl was born. Again, I knew I had been so blessed. She had a headful of black hair just like her sister, and she, too, was so precious. Three months later, so much has changed. My oldest has adjusted so well. She loves her sister so much. She has gone from being the only child, (baby), to being a super big sister, getting a big girl room, and being potty trained with pretty much ease. I am so blessed and love these two girls wholeheartedly. My life has changed drastically in the past two years, and I wouldn't go back for anything. I feel looking back, that I must have been so bored. They occupy my every waking moment and sometimes my sleeping moments as well :) I couldn't imagine my life any differently than it is at this very minute.