Keep going and going...

It's late Monday night and I need to be sleeping!! I have so many thoughts rushing through my head. Robb and I spent the weekend in KnoxVegas checking everything out. We signed our lease to our apartment (which is definately going to be an adjustment) and then we just rode around and got to know the area. We went to his new office, the mall, Wal-Mart, Target, etc...It was fun to see ALL the things that were right at our fingertips to grab hold of.

However, I feel like blogging will be the best way for me to get all this "stuff" off of my mind instead of just talking about it. I feel like I shouldn't be talking to anyone about anything going on with us right now, in fear of hurting someones feelings or offending someone. So, here's the skinny...Robb and I are PURE GIDDY right now. We are so pumped about the move, but feel like I should feel guilty about being so excited. Why is that? When Robb is talking about, sshhh, Knoxville, I feel like I should jump in and stop him so that people don't think we are excited. What in the world? So weird to feel that way. I feel as if we are being disloyal (is that a word?) by talking about this without tears.

Anyway, I am excited about Thursday and getting settled and getting started in Tennessee, but I think I could use another week to get packed!! Not happening, but I could use it. See, it's a little complicated trying to pack boxes while the little ones are going behind me and unpacking or screaming, "hold you" the entire time I'm trying to do anything. I'm pretty much at the point now of just dumping stuff into garbage bags and hoping that it doesn't break and dealing with it later.

I currently have lists...1) on my new crackberry (I may not know how to do anything on that phone, but I can make a list), 2)on my fridge, 3) in my pocket calendar, 4)on pieces of paper in my pocketbook, and 5) in my head. Soon, I will need to make a list to keep up with where all of my lists are. WOW, moving with 2 kids is for the birds...Not for people who need SLEEP!!

Oh well, this time next week, we will be there, hopefully be unpacked, and hopefully enjoying Knoxville. I'm going to think positively and think that we are going to be adjusting well and having a blast!!

Good night all!

Getting ready for "THE MOVE"

So, where do I start? Robb and I are getting ready for "the move." He has just accepted a job in Knoxville, Tn, approximately 6 and 1/2 hours from our now, HOME. This time is filled with emotion for me. I never had any idea that I could feel all of these things at once. The immediate emotion is excitement.
Excitement
*for the career opportunity for Robb.
*for the educational opportunity for the girls.
*for the things that a larger place has to offer as far as things for us to do.
*for being closer to my family.
*for a new start for the 4 of us.
*for following God's plan.
The second emotion that is the exact opposite, but that is right there neck and neck with the first would be sadness.
Sadness
*for leaving our family here in Eastern NC.
*for leaving our church family.
*for leaving the only home that Robb and I have ever shared.
*for leaving the home that we brought our precious girls home to.
*for leaving the many friends that we have made here.
*for leaving such a wonderful preschool that Ally has loved so much.
Another emotion that is surfacing is fear.
Fear
*of the unknown
*of being "by ourselves and knowing no one."
*of when our house will sell.
*of leaving our comfort zone.
But, the thing that is so weird is that I feel all of these things at the same time!! I'm so excited about what God has in store for us, but I'm scared because I don't know what that plan is. Does that make sense? I know it seems so strange to be able to say that I feel comfort knowing that we are following God's will, but that I'm scared that I'm not the one in control...

As we've been working on our house trying to get it ready to be sold and trying to pack up our things, it's the small, unthinkable, unpredictable things that have gotten to me. For example, when we had our last church service, I was OK for the most part, because I was expecting it. And when I talked to Ally's teachers at school about the move, I was OK because I was expecting it. BUT, when we were painting and I came across crayon mark on the wall from Ally when she was a baby, I lost it. And when I came across the greasy handprint on the wall from the time Ally got into my Carmex with her entire palm and stuck it to the wall, I lost it. And when I pushed Annie Grace on her little swing in the back yard, I lost it. It's the things that I didn't have myself prepared to deal with that got me for sure!!

Anyway, I say all of these things as a preface to this: Over a year ago, Robb and I made a commitment to God, our girls and to each other that every night, we would pray together (aloud) for God to lead us in His direction. We knew that something just wasn't right. We could both feel that God had other plans for us and we just didn't know what they were or when they were. After much prayer and commitment to this family and to God our Father, He is leading this path for us. I know that it may hurt to see us so excited about this new adventure to the ones that we are "leaving" behind, but this excitement isn't selfish at all. It's because we know that God is directing this path for us to follow. I keep telling Robb that I feel like this journey is the landing strip at the airport and we are the airplane and that as we keep going down the runway, God continues to light the path to show us which direction to take. How can one not be excited about that?! Knowing that God is lighting the path for you to follow. Yes, there are going to be some hard times ahead and definately some tears along the way, but we are so excited because we know that this move is a "God-thang" for our family!! :-)

My girls

On August 5, 2006, my first little girl was born. She was the most precious person I had ever laid eyes on. I knew at that point, my life had changed forever, for the good. Two years later, on August 21, 2008, my second little girl was born. Again, I knew I had been so blessed. She had a headful of black hair just like her sister, and she, too, was so precious. Three months later, so much has changed. My oldest has adjusted so well. She loves her sister so much. She has gone from being the only child, (baby), to being a super big sister, getting a big girl room, and being potty trained with pretty much ease. I am so blessed and love these two girls wholeheartedly. My life has changed drastically in the past two years, and I wouldn't go back for anything. I feel looking back, that I must have been so bored. They occupy my every waking moment and sometimes my sleeping moments as well :) I couldn't imagine my life any differently than it is at this very minute.